“I know that! I don’t mean any of this to insult what you already know, Hank. I want you to have as much freedom possible here, no matter what the city dictates. If it’s better to say so in writing then....it would be remiss not to,” he says placatingly.
“The important part is just discussing it,” he agrees. But he’s a little surprised Hank can’t see the value of having it in writing after a brush with death and the unpredictable nature of this place. But Connor has always been one for rules and proper documenting.
Which still leaves.....everything that started this conversation to begin with. He glances over carefully, wondering how to best phrase it.
“I think we should address the possibility of others outside of our contract since it’s the immediate topic, then. And I think—I know I don’t have a say over it.”
Connor nods in agreement. It seems much simpler when Hank says it like that.
“Yes.”
It still feels like there’s something else he’s missing, something unsaid and confusing in his own thoughts. Like trying to piece together Jericho’s location without clarity in their evidence. But he knows he’ll have to figure it out himself.
He can’t be hearing this right. He’s already said—
“It wasn’t unpleasant. It was appealing, even. I could tell you the factual aspects, but that wouldn’t really help either. The truth is...sexual activity without trust or some level of intimacy is different, Hank. I believe it’s what humans refer to as—no strings? A hook-up.”
"It was - I don't know, Connor, I was barely in my own head for it. It was
like - like you said, I guess. A manual override, making me do what this
goddamn place wanted me to."
“You didn’t answer the first part. Are you—one of those humans?”
Does Hank prefer to remain unattached? Would he rather just—have sex and leave it at that? At first he’d guess yes, but he thinks about all the little things he’s collected about one (1) Lieutenant Hank Anderson and now he’s not so certain.
Connor nods slowly, like he’s putting something together.
Only—he doesn’t.
“So this must be difficult for you.”
Because he still can’t wrap his head around the possibility that he’d have any kind of place alongside Hank’s former lovers. He’s an android, newly accepting his sentience or not, and....well.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Hank just pulls a face.
"An allowance, Connor? I feel like I've managed budgeting okay for the whole of my life so far, y'know?"
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“I’m sorry. I know it isn’t easy.”
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"Yeah," Hank sighs. "I just don't know why we need it in writing when we can just talk it over."
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“I can take care of the paperwork, you know.”
He gestures vaguely to his temple.
“It would just be a precaution.”
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Hank grimaces.
"A precaution against...what, Connor? A piece of paper isn't gonna make this place any less fucked up than it is already."
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"I think we're okay, Connor. I mean - I'd rather talk about things when they come up, okay? Instead of trying to work it all out at once."
That seems impractical at best.
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Which still leaves.....everything that started this conversation to begin with. He glances over carefully, wondering how to best phrase it.
“I think we should address the possibility of others outside of our contract since it’s the immediate topic, then. And I think—I know I don’t have a say over it.”
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"Well...."
Hank just shrugs, careless.
"What's to address? If you want to screw other people, then you can, okay?"
It's not like he hasn't already.
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The likelihood of him actually doing that sits at a low percentage, currently, but he’s not going to say so.
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"Okay. And everything else...we've been doing okay so far, right? Don't think we need anything else on the paperwork."
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“Yes.”
It still feels like there’s something else he’s missing, something unsaid and confusing in his own thoughts. Like trying to piece together Jericho’s location without clarity in their evidence. But he knows he’ll have to figure it out himself.
“Is there anything else?”
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No.
Yes.
No.
Fuck.
"....How was it?"
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He can’t be hearing this right. He’s already said—
“It wasn’t unpleasant. It was appealing, even. I could tell you the factual aspects, but that wouldn’t really help either. The truth is...sexual activity without trust or some level of intimacy is different, Hank. I believe it’s what humans refer to as—no strings? A hook-up.”
What does Hank want to hear, he wonders?
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"Yeah."
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
"Some humans like that better."
Fuck.
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“Do you?”
Another pause, a flicker of his LED.
“What was it like with 2B?”
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"It was - I don't know, Connor, I was barely in my own head for it. It was like - like you said, I guess. A manual override, making me do what this goddamn place wanted me to."
He grimaces.
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Does Hank prefer to remain unattached? Would he rather just—have sex and leave it at that? At first he’d guess yes, but he thinks about all the little things he’s collected about one (1) Lieutenant Hank Anderson and now he’s not so certain.
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"No-!" He sighs hoarsely. "No, I'm not, Connor. I'd only had one serious girlfriend before I got married, and since her there was nobody 'til...."
Until this. Until Connor.
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Only—he doesn’t.
“So this must be difficult for you.”
Because he still can’t wrap his head around the possibility that he’d have any kind of place alongside Hank’s former lovers. He’s an android, newly accepting his sentience or not, and....well.
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"I - yeah, I guess. I mean, I kinda figured we'd be...but I never said anything, so..."
So he's got no right to complain that they're not exclusive after all, that Connor saw a reason to fuck Kamski and just did it.
"It doesn't matter."
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He steps forward, and before he can rationalize it, he does what is a distinctly human mechanism of comfort: he reaches for Hank’s hand.
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Hank sighs, deflating a little, and curls his fingers around Connor's.
"...Thanks."
They'll work it out as they go. They are already, right?
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Not waving him off or just accepting something that’s clearly causing him some measure of distress.
“This is still—very new to me. You know that. But I feel confident in saying what I want will always involve you.”
His brows furrow. Somehow that didn’t come out as emphatic as he meant. Why is thi so difficult?
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"Same here. This is...this is new to me too, okay?"
Yeah, he's had relationships, he's been married. That's about as distant from this as sharing a dorm is from having a cellmate.
"Let's just...keep talking. Before shit happens, if we get the chance."
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