His stress level ticks back down, LED whirling back into a calm blue. Why does hearing that reassure him so much? Why does he offer the tiniest little uptick of his lips?
“I just wanted to be honest. And, apparently I wanted—reassurance?”
Admitting his emotions out loud is still clearly a challenge.
“That won’t happen,” he insists. “I wouldn’t choose that—not unless it’s what you wanted, Hank.”
He pauses, knowing there’s a better way to say so.
“I like this. I enjoy what we have.”
But he feels like it’s important to add: “There’s a more thorough way to extrapolate on other circumstances, if you’d like. I downloaded an example of a contract addressing the specifics that we didn’t establish.”
“I apologize for not realizing how lax and possibly irresponsible ours was, initially. There are aspects of your living and comfort I may have been neglecting.”
None of this indicates he has any desire to change or end their partnership in any way, however.
“I know that! I don’t mean any of this to insult what you already know, Hank. I want you to have as much freedom possible here, no matter what the city dictates. If it’s better to say so in writing then....it would be remiss not to,” he says placatingly.
“The important part is just discussing it,” he agrees. But he’s a little surprised Hank can’t see the value of having it in writing after a brush with death and the unpredictable nature of this place. But Connor has always been one for rules and proper documenting.
Which still leaves.....everything that started this conversation to begin with. He glances over carefully, wondering how to best phrase it.
“I think we should address the possibility of others outside of our contract since it’s the immediate topic, then. And I think—I know I don’t have a say over it.”
Connor nods in agreement. It seems much simpler when Hank says it like that.
“Yes.”
It still feels like there’s something else he’s missing, something unsaid and confusing in his own thoughts. Like trying to piece together Jericho’s location without clarity in their evidence. But he knows he’ll have to figure it out himself.
He can’t be hearing this right. He’s already said—
“It wasn’t unpleasant. It was appealing, even. I could tell you the factual aspects, but that wouldn’t really help either. The truth is...sexual activity without trust or some level of intimacy is different, Hank. I believe it’s what humans refer to as—no strings? A hook-up.”
"It was - I don't know, Connor, I was barely in my own head for it. It was
like - like you said, I guess. A manual override, making me do what this
goddamn place wanted me to."
“You didn’t answer the first part. Are you—one of those humans?”
Does Hank prefer to remain unattached? Would he rather just—have sex and leave it at that? At first he’d guess yes, but he thinks about all the little things he’s collected about one (1) Lieutenant Hank Anderson and now he’s not so certain.
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“I just wanted to be honest. And, apparently I wanted—reassurance?”
Admitting his emotions out loud is still clearly a challenge.
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Hank sighs, letting some of his own stress leach out, and crosses the room to his partner.
"It's okay. It's really okay, Connor, it's just I..."
There's no good way to end this sentence.
"I can be a real dumbass sometimes, that's all."
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There’s a little bit of amusement to his tone there, before he quiets again and steps forward to meet Hank part way.
“So....we’re okay?”
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"Yeah. We're okay. Just...you can just tell me if you wanna rework what we agreed, okay? I won't - take offense, or get mad or anything."
He's not meeting Connor's gaze.
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He pauses, knowing there’s a better way to say so.
“I like this. I enjoy what we have.”
But he feels like it’s important to add: “There’s a more thorough way to extrapolate on other circumstances, if you’d like. I downloaded an example of a contract addressing the specifics that we didn’t establish.”
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"I, uh."
He can't get away from the thought that that doesn't sound...great.
"What kinda specifics?"
Specifics like fucking other people, moron, his own mind helpfully supplies.
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He looks a little sheepish.
“I apologize for not realizing how lax and possibly irresponsible ours was, initially. There are aspects of your living and comfort I may have been neglecting.”
None of this indicates he has any desire to change or end their partnership in any way, however.
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Hank just pulls a face.
"An allowance, Connor? I feel like I've managed budgeting okay for the whole of my life so far, y'know?"
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“I’m sorry. I know it isn’t easy.”
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"Yeah," Hank sighs. "I just don't know why we need it in writing when we can just talk it over."
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“I can take care of the paperwork, you know.”
He gestures vaguely to his temple.
“It would just be a precaution.”
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Hank grimaces.
"A precaution against...what, Connor? A piece of paper isn't gonna make this place any less fucked up than it is already."
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"I think we're okay, Connor. I mean - I'd rather talk about things when they come up, okay? Instead of trying to work it all out at once."
That seems impractical at best.
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Which still leaves.....everything that started this conversation to begin with. He glances over carefully, wondering how to best phrase it.
“I think we should address the possibility of others outside of our contract since it’s the immediate topic, then. And I think—I know I don’t have a say over it.”
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"Well...."
Hank just shrugs, careless.
"What's to address? If you want to screw other people, then you can, okay?"
It's not like he hasn't already.
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The likelihood of him actually doing that sits at a low percentage, currently, but he’s not going to say so.
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"Okay. And everything else...we've been doing okay so far, right? Don't think we need anything else on the paperwork."
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“Yes.”
It still feels like there’s something else he’s missing, something unsaid and confusing in his own thoughts. Like trying to piece together Jericho’s location without clarity in their evidence. But he knows he’ll have to figure it out himself.
“Is there anything else?”
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No.
Yes.
No.
Fuck.
"....How was it?"
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He can’t be hearing this right. He’s already said—
“It wasn’t unpleasant. It was appealing, even. I could tell you the factual aspects, but that wouldn’t really help either. The truth is...sexual activity without trust or some level of intimacy is different, Hank. I believe it’s what humans refer to as—no strings? A hook-up.”
What does Hank want to hear, he wonders?
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"Yeah."
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
"Some humans like that better."
Fuck.
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“Do you?”
Another pause, a flicker of his LED.
“What was it like with 2B?”
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"It was - I don't know, Connor, I was barely in my own head for it. It was like - like you said, I guess. A manual override, making me do what this goddamn place wanted me to."
He grimaces.
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Does Hank prefer to remain unattached? Would he rather just—have sex and leave it at that? At first he’d guess yes, but he thinks about all the little things he’s collected about one (1) Lieutenant Hank Anderson and now he’s not so certain.
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